(Brewtown Andy sez: This was the very first thing I ever wrote for this blog. Rubie asked if I wanted to contribute something, and so I put this together and made a FanPost. Today, I repost it to mark the beginning of the 24 hour countdown to tipoff to this year's game against Wisconsin. Enjoy!)
So, Badger Hate Week, huh? Well, I'm not getting left out of this.
Growing up, I wanted to attend Marquette. Somehow, even as a child barely aware of the beauty and sanctity of college basketball, I subconsciously knew that wanting anything to do with the University of Wisconsin was a terrible idea. And now, in my 10th season as a Marquette men's basketball season ticket holder, it's profoundly obvious to me that Wisconsin is evil and must be destroyed.
Why, you ask? Where to start, where to start.... oh, I know. Paul Lukas is the editor of a very fun blog called Uni Watch, where he keeps track of trends in uniforms in various sports. If you type "wisconsin illinois uni watch" into a Google Image Search, it comes back with a picture from their 2003 matchup at Illinois. Go ahead and take a look, I'll wait.
[researches best firearms to use when hunting small woodland rodents]
Yep, when visiting a school who nicknamed their student section "Orange Krush," Wisconsin didn't bother asking if the Illini were planning on wearing their orange unis and everyone got stuck staring at THAT for 2 hours. THAT'S how evil Wisconsin is.
Let's move on to the backhanded compliment portion of our day. I'll admit Bo Ryan is one heck of a coach. That is, as long as he never leaves the state of Wisconsin. Apparently, when Bo gets too far away from his coffin, his mystical powers are diminished. By my math, he's a mediocre 79-69 (Brewtown Andy sez: 87-77 now) outside the state, while going 142-15 (Brewtown Andy sez: 157-15 now) in Wisconsin. I'd take a cheap shot at their non-conference scheduling here, but let's face it: Bo's ragtag bunch of Swinging Crewcuts lost to North Dakota State in that wretched hive of scum and villainy they refer to as the Kohl Center.
This brings us to the sad state of affairs that is the Wisconsin fanbase. There's no easy way to say this. They caused Detroit Lions QB Drew Stanton to engage in necrophilia this past weekend when he danced The Dougie after scoring a touchdown. How, you ask?
The American people were enjoying a perfectly good dance sensation when along comes Bucky Nation and in traditional self absorbed arrogant fashion, they just HAD to make it all about themselves. And now poor Drew Stanton is guilty of violating The Dougie's corpse, and all because the Buckys KILLED it before he even had a chance. You would have thought that they would have learned their lesson after what Bo did to Soulja Boy.
Look. I'm not going to say this is going to be fun. I'm not going to try and tell you that it's going to be easy. If what I've shown you here today isn't enough to prove the point, then go ahead and find a Wisconsin message board and go read for yourself. I'd provide examples, but the American Medical Association and 5 out of 5 dentists (Wisconsin doesn't have a dental school, so dentists hate them) agree that no one should be exposed to that kind of deluded insanity for that length of time. But the fact of the matter is that Wisconsin is evil and must be destroyed.
Brewtown Andy was voted "Most Likely To Tell A Badger To Go Die In A Fire" in high school. He can be found on Twitter as @brewtownandy.