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Hey, What's Up With Davante Gardner?

During Saturday's game against Villanova, Marquette sophomore forward Davante Gardner made a move to the basket and ended up in an unmoving heap on the floor. No foul was called. At the next stoppage of play, an official's time out was called to repair the net because Gardner and his defender's hands got tangled up in the net and tore the net in the process. When play resumed, Gardner was still in the game.

Now, I saw multiple people on Twitter say that they saw Ox's knee buckle as he went down. I didn't see it, but it's worth pointing out that even Davante himself mentioned his knee on Twitter. Furthermore, at least one person saw Gardner on crutches around campus on Monday.

This was enough to launch the Anonymous Eagle Bureau of Nonsensical Investigations into action.

I can now confirm that the following quote was the first thing that someone directly said to the AEBNI team and therefore must be reasonably close to the truth:

"My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with a girl who saw him pass out at Kopp's [Sunday night]. I guess it's pretty serious."

The AEBNI tells me that they were unable to track down a single other person who was able to corroborate this story in any fashion, including one person who said that it would be impossible for Gardner to even be at Kopp's because he's lactose intolerant.

If you'll join us after the jump, we'll go over the other things that the Nonsensical Investigations team was able to find out but unable to find anyone to confirm.

Star-divide

  • If Davante dies, he's going to give his eyes to Stevie Wonder.
  • A student was seen in the AMU taking donations in an empty Busch Light can to help pay for Davante's new kidney.
  • Not only did the Milwaukee Journal-Sentinel publish a story entitled "Community Rallies Around Sick Youth," but they also allowed you to read the story without it counting towards one of your 20 free clicks for the month.
  • The English Department Faculty and Staff sent Davante a Get Well Soon bouquet.
  • Davante Gardner is Batman.
  • Davante was assimilated into the Borg.
  • Davante has the Glengarry leads.

Thanks to @aalgar, @BLANDYcares, and @IrishGavBrown for providing their investigative talents to this task. Thanks also to our own Rubie Q for lodging the idea for an investigation in my head.

If you have your own theories or ideas as to what's going on with Davante, please post them in the comments section below!

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I should be dissapointed...

But I’m not because I love Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. But I do hope it is only rumor mongering.

by MUWarriors on Jan 31, 2012 9:52 AM CST reply actions  

It's actually

Ox-cutus of Borg, now.

(Fine. I’m a nerd. Andy started it.)

We pull our pants up and do our jobs here.

by Rubie Q on Jan 31, 2012 10:33 AM CST reply actions  

Um

not that I know anything about the Borg, but whats his designation? and how many are in his collective?

by IWantFrys on Jan 31, 2012 11:13 AM CST up reply actions  

There are times when I don't get yourg

We all have to chase one rabbit. If we try to chase two rabbits we won't catch either of 'em.

by Mr. Kensington on Jan 31, 2012 11:23 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Shit. Stupid fingers.

I was saying…

There are times when I don’t get your jokes and I wish I did. This is not one or those times.

We all have to chase one rabbit. If we try to chase two rabbits we won't catch either of 'em.

by Mr. Kensington on Jan 31, 2012 11:24 AM CST via mobile up reply actions  

Yeah.

It got STR8 NURDY up in hurr right quick.

We pull our pants up and do our jobs here.

by Rubie Q on Jan 31, 2012 11:31 AM CST up reply actions  

wait

does that mean you are ashamed to know about The Borg? How dare you.

by IWantFrys on Jan 31, 2012 12:28 PM CST up reply actions  

I heard...

Davante did his knee like Ellis Myles, but was just too damn cool to get caught yelling like like that.

Then during the timeout, he just walked it off cuz that’s how much of a badass he is.

We all have to chase one rabbit. If we try to chase two rabbits we won't catch either of 'em.

by Mr. Kensington on Jan 31, 2012 11:47 AM CST via mobile reply actions  

He just doesnt give any f---s

Like a honey badger, that thing dont give any f—-s!
Cept, badgers are terrible vermin so forget that allusion.

by IWantFrys on Jan 31, 2012 12:29 PM CST up reply actions  

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