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Brewtown Andy, who was recently promoted to Chief Investigator of the recently-created Anonymous Eagle Bureau of Nonsensical Investigations, uncovered this video of the perpetually pantsless Bucky Badger Facebook stalking Arizona's Wilma Wildcat ...
ON COMPANY TIME.
This, obviously, led us to wonder: what else is Bucky doing on UW-Madison's dime?
Because Bucky is an employee of a public university, the AEBNI sent a Freedom of Information Act request for Bucky's cell phone records.*
* A FOI request for a mascot's phone? you ask. It's in the PATRIOT Act. Learn it. Live it. Love it.
Here's what we found.
Special thanks to Mrs. Q for coming up with this concept and for playing the victim to my fictional Bucky horndog.