Today in Great Americans: Scott Wolf

When, in the course of human events, one of our countrymen does something courageous and noble and worthy of note, I feel it is our duty to honor that Great American in our own small way.

Today, we salute YOU, Scott Wolf.

(No. Not that one. Although that Scott Wolf's turn as Bailey in Party of Five was certainly inspirational, especially for those of us who struggled to run a family restaurant at age 14 while fighting alcoholism in the midst of a post-apocalyptic dystopia in which humans are grown to serve as fuel for sentient robots that have taken over the planet.*

* In the interest of full disclosure: I never watched the show (I was a Dawson's Creek guy, m'self), so it's entirely possible that I'm confusing some of the plot points.

And before I end my tangent: holy hell, is Scott Wolf the "one of these things doesn't belong" on the Po5 cast list, or what? Neve Campbell, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jack from LOST, that one kid who was in Mean Girls, even the guy who played T.S. in Mallrats -- and then there's Scott Wolf, "who would star in the movie Go" and used to party with Charlie Sheen. I mean: ouch, babe.

And don't get me wrong, I'm a big fan of Go. I think it's terrifically underrated, and I'm heartbroken that the guy who played Simon has been reduced to bit parts in something called No Man's Land: The Rise of Reeker. But do you think Jay Mohr's epitaph is going to read: starred in the movie Go, opposite Scott Wolf? I'm just sayin'.)

ANYWAY:

The Scott Wolf we're concerned with today is the USC beat reporter and Associated Press college basketball poll voter for the L.A. Daily News. You see, Mr. Wolf has mixed himself an industrial-grade vat of blue-n-gold Kool Aid, and he's helping himself to seconds and thirds.

1. Syracuse
2. Marquette
3. Louisville
4. Kentucky
5. Ohio State
6. Connecticut
7. Duke
8. North Carolina
9. Wisconsin
10. Kansas

That, my friends, is the work of a Great American. Next time you're in Milwaukee, Scott Wolf Who Wasn't in Party of Five, the first (four) round(s) of Jagermeister are on us. Cheers.