Adjective SURVIVOR! Season Two: THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

[Rubie sez: I pushed this post back to the top of the front page because it's the last day of voting. And this is very SERIOUS BUSINESS.]

And then there were two.

We've come to the end of the road in our quest to find THE perfect adjective to describe perpetually-ruddy-faced (sorry, I've gotta get some of these descriptions out of my system before the contest is over) official Jim Burr. Last week's voting banished SENILE from the island, and, if it can remember where it left its stuff, it packs its bags and skedaddles.

SENILE's exit leaves us with SHAMBOLIC and DRUNKEN HOBBIT in the final fight, and, in true SURVIVOR! fashion, we're giving each of the adjectives one last chance to state its case.

Ken from Voodoo Five -- better known to you as the Toughest Blog in America -- originally suggested SHAMBOLIC when we asked for nominees two months ago, so I thought it was only fitting to give him the floor. (Plus: he promised he'd be escorted to the stage by a couple of Sun Dolls.) Ken?

Shambolic isn't a word we just throw around at Voodoo Five. It's a word only given to the worst of the worst. As you all witnessed first hand in USF's epic collapse against Marquette, we described the play point guard Anthony Crater as Shambolic. When you can't cross the half court line for minutes on end with nothing more than a soft press in your way, there is no other word to describe his lackluster performance.

With Crater's dismissal from school due to a "violation of team rules", the Shambolic moniker has a new lease on life. We at V5 see no one else that would represent the spirit of the word Shambolic more than Jim Burr.

USF has a first hand knowledge of the heinous acts of Mr. Burr. On two separate occasions over his career he has thrown out USF fans at the Sun Dome for nothing more than criticizing a call that he botched. As far as we know there were no four-letter words thrown in his direction, and the ejections were for nothing more than to stroke his overly inflated ego.

Throw in his insane schedule that diminishes his already lackluster performance and the time he ended a Big East Tournament game early because he felt like it, and it should an easy decision to add Shambolic to the name of Jim Burr.

Thank you, Ken. And thank you, girls.

I wish I had something equally eloquent to submit on behalf of DRUNKEN HOBBIT, but I've never been good at speechifying. I just think Jim Burr looks an awful lot like Bilbo, if Bilbo spent all his days at the bottom of a bottle of Irish whiskey. ...

Sorry. That's all I've got. I'm voting for SHAMBOLIC.

Alright, kids: I haven't asked for much during this season of Adjective SURVIVOR!, in large part because most of y'all jump headlong into the voting without bothering to read the rules first. Anyway: since we run this contest SURVIVOR!-style, the rules change in the last round:

Instead of voting for the adjective you want off the island, you vote for the one you want to win.

Clear?

Just in case you're struggling with the concept:

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE.

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE.

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE.

VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE.

Got it? Cool. Take us home, Europe.