The first episode of Season Two Point Five of Adjective SURVIVOR! is in the books, and, once again, Admiral Ackbar, S.J., provided a tutorial on how not to play this game: after publicly throwing his support behind "Vice President of Sales," the anonymous Internet masses -- predictably and swiftly -- responded by dispatching that contender from the island.
We're checking with our people at Elias right now, but I believe that "Vice President of Sales" now holds the dubious record for "largest percentage of the vote in an episode with more than nine voting options." When the polls closed, "Vice President of Sales" had garnered a whopping 25 votes out of 49 -- that's 51%, for you non-math majors. In terms of contenders, "Vice President of Sales" proved to be the equivalent of that dude on Top Chef: Season 3 who butchered some apples with a plastic knife in the initial challenge and tried to pass it off as an amuse bouche.
ANYWAY, that's enough of an obit for "Vice President of Sales." I hope you didn't quit your day job, because it's time to pack your things and go.
The nine remaining contenders are below, and here's your brief reminder on what we're trying to accomplish: we're trying to find THE perfect adjective to describe Tim Higgins, and we're voting off words one at a time until we come to the preferred choice. So, the mission: vote one of these adjectives off the island. Please.