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The 8-Bit Preview: SELA Edition

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With apologies to Megaman, let's break down the Southeastern Louisiana Lions in eight bits.

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(1) VITAL SCHEMATICS: 0-1 (2012-'13), 12-17 (2011-'12). KenPom: 314 ('12-'13), 305 ('11-'12). Fifth-worst offense in NCAA in 2011-'12, per Pomeroy.

(2) PRIMARY WEAPON(S): ENNUI RAY (damage rating: 1.3 of 10). Designed to lull opponent to sleep through frequent turnovers, poor shooting, and comical free throwing. Highly effective against certain directional schools from Texas and Arkansas.

(3) DEFENSIVE MATRIX: HACK-A-SHIELD (armor rating: 4.4 of 10). Also designed to bore opponent to submission, through frequent fouls, recurring trips to the free throw line, and allowing opponent to grab offensive rebounds at its leisure.

(4) EXPLOITABLE WEAKNESS(ES): [ERROR] [FILE TOO LARGE]