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VOTE OR DIE. (Or don't vote. It's cool.)
VOTE OR DIE. (Or don't vote. It's cool.)

After 48 weeks of non-stop voting, we've reached the final destination in our quest to find THE perfect adjective to describe Wisconsin basketball coach Bo Ryan. Last week's recount proceeded without computer or human err error, and after confirming the results with Anonymous Eagle's official accountant, Soft Pretzel with Cheese, RODENTIAL claimed victory and moved on to the FINAL FIGHT.

One last time, and with feeling: LET'S GO.

Join us after the jump as our nominees make their pitch for your vote.

To make the case for RODENTIAL, here's Mr. Kensington:

Rodential - adjective

1. Characteristic of a rodent

When this word was first nominated, I had sincere doubts as to whether or not it was even a word.* Turns out, it totally is!** That's lucky for us, because I don't think there could be a more perfect word to be forever attached to our pal/mortal enemy William Francis "Bo" Ryan, Jr.

You see, folks, Badgers are rodents. (OK, technically they're members of the weasel family, but I'm mocking my nemesis here, not teaching a zoology class. And honestly what's the difference?) And over the years Bo has come to resemble one of these critters more and more. I sometimes wonder if he's always looked this way, or if he morphed into this over time -- you know, like people who look like their pets. I tried to Google a picture of Bo from his early coaching years to verify, but since Bo is a vampire, and has been coaching since well before the invention of modern photographic techniques (just shortly after Dick Bennett invented the game), this was impossible. So we are left to speculate. My guess is that his physical resemblance to this particular rodent is what got him the job in the first place. I imagine his interview with Pat Richter going something like this:

Pat: "Bo, thanks for coming in ... Uh, that's a helluva look you've got there, but you don't have to try to look like an actual badger to convince me that you should be a Wisconsin Badger."

Bo: "Grrrrrr, snarl, gggrrrr, THAT'S A FOUL, raghr, grrrr, snarl, gnaw, gnaw yum yum kitten bloooooood."

Pat: "Oh ... I see, that's just how you look. Well, that's just about good enough for me. Just one last question: What is your opinion of the bounce pass?"

And the rest, as they say, is history.

I could go on about Bo's other rodent-like attributes, but I don't think that's necessary. The choice is clear. Let's make sure that the King of the Commie Rodents will be forever referred to as Rodential Bo Ryan!

* It's not.

** It's totally not.

If memory serves, I was the one who nominated DICKISH for consideration, so I guess that means the floor belongs to me now. Unfortunately, since we do things Pardon the Interruption style around here and Mr. K used up all but five seconds of the allotted time, I'll be brief:

Vote DICKISH because Bo Ryan is kind of a dick.

And now the choice is yours. Remember: we switch things up in the final round of voting: instead of voting for the word you want booted from the island, you vote for the word you want to win the contest.







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