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The College Football Anarchist's Guide To Week 1

We enter the playoff era of college football this season, and as such, we're going to try something new here at Anonymous Eagle.

Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports

I have a confession: I'm a college football anarchist.

This probably stems from Marquette's lack of a football team.  I grew up with absolutely zero loyalty to any college football program, and when Boise State exploded onto the college football since with their trickeration against Oklahoma in the 2007 Fiesta Bowl, I realized what I actually liked about college football: cheering for the desecration of the traditional structure.

I always preferred playing EA's NCAA Football to Madden.  Why?  Because it was fun to take the absolute worst program in the game and turn them into a national power by altering the schedules to play the top teams and run roughshod over them.  I'm not playing video games for the challenge, I'm playing video games for the entertainment, and guiding Duke forward from a winless 2006 season to national championships and Heisman Trophies is HILARIOUS.  Then you leave Duke, take the new worst program, rinse, repeat.

Ever since that 2007 Fiesta Bowl, I've been on the Boise bandwagon, hoping that the Broncos would finally manage to punch their way into the top 2 and eradicate the BCS once and for all.  It never happened, and the Power Five woke up on their own to realize the financial windfall involved in a playoff system.

This works to my benefit, though.  Now, instead of hoping for instability and anarchy in the top two spots in the country, I now have FOUR spots.  So I'm going to share my glee for mayhem with all of you.  We're going to take the top five teams in the AP poll that are in action every Saturday and assess 1) the chances that they lose their game and 2) exactly how much chaos that will be caused by that loss.

If you're a fan of a top ranked team, well, I'm sorry: I'm cheering for your team to lose in the most hilariously embarrassing fashion possible.

#1 Florida State (0-0) vs Oklahoma State (0-0)

Time: 7pm Central, ABC
Line: Florida State -18.5
Chances Of Losing: Medium Low
Possible Chaos Level: Medium Low

I like Mike Gundy.  I've been a fan of him ever since his "I'M A MAN!  I'M 40!" rant.  That video clip isn't going to earn him any points against the defending champion Seminoles, though.

That 18.5 point spread won't be the largest one we see here, but it's still significant enough that I don't have a lot of confidence in the Cowboys figuring out a way to win this game.  I don't even have a lot of faith in OSU managing to have a home field advantage at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas, for this game, as I'm sure FSU fans will be more than happy to travel on the holiday weekend.

Even if they manage to pull the upset, I don't think that would cause that much chaos in the playoff picture.  Oh, it'll cause chaos in Skip Bayless' brain because he'll get to freak out about WHAT'S WRONG WITH JAMEIS WINSTON, but it'll be just one loss to a power conference team picked to finish in the top of their league.  Florida State will have more than enough chances to keep themselves in the good graces of the playoff committee.

#2 Alabama (0-0) vs West Virginia (0-0)

Time: 2:30pm Central, ABC
Line: Alabama -26
Chances of Losing: Low
Possible Chaos Level: Medium

If you think that Nick Saban isn't going to have his guys ready to obliterate anything in front of them tomorrow, I don't know what to tell you.  The Crimson Tide are the overwhelming favorite to win the SEC this year, while West Virginia was picked to finish eighth in the ten team Big 12 (insert joke here).

Odds are that Alabama's not losing this game.  But I'm rating the possible chaos involved in that loss as Medium, because the SEC's no picnic.  If WVU can find a way to get past Bama, a lot of SEC teams will be able to do so as well.  Fun Fact: The trip to Atlanta for this game is shorter than every single one of WVU's conference game road trips this season!

#3 Oregon (0-0) vs South Dakota (0-0)

Time: 9:30pm Central, Pac12 Networks
Line: Oregon -51
Chances of Losing: Very Low
Possible Chaos Level: Very High

It's the #3 team in the country vs an FCS team.  You could argue that things will be thrown into chaos if Oregon doesn't cover that 51 point spread.  Moving on.

#4 Oklahoma (0-0) vs Louisiana Tech (0-0)

Time: 6pm Central
Line: Oklahoma -38
Chances of Losing: Very Low
Possible Chaos Level: Very High

LaTech went 4-8 last year.  They're picked to finish fourth in the Western Division of Conference USA.  Oklahoma is the favorite to win the Big 12.  Moving on.

#5 Ohio State (0-0) at Navy (0-0)

Time: 11am Central, CBS Sports Network
Line: Ohio State -16.5
Chances of Losing: Medium High
Possible Chaos Level: Medium

Hey, a top 5 team playing a road game against a team that was picking up votes in the preseason AP poll!  And the team in question is Navy, which has a terrifically fun history of just jamming the ball down the throat of team after team after team, regardless of who the opponent is?  This could be awesome.  Last year, Navy rushed for 325 yards per game, and they return both of their top two rushers from 2013, quarterback Keenan Reynolds and fullback Chris Swain.  Ohio State might have been the favorite to win the Big Ten, but that was before they found out that quarterback Braxton Miller was done for the season due to a shoulder injury.  Will the Buckeyes be ready with his replacement in time for the Midshipmen?

While I think Navy has a pretty decent shot at winning this game, more so than the line indicates, I don't think that would cause that much uproar.  Ohio State is already arguably starting the season on the outside of the four team playoff, and if Navy ends up getting ranked and staying there all season, I don't know if that really ends up hurting Ohio State's case.