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The College Football Anarchist's Guide To Week Five

WAR DAMN EAGLE
WAR DAMN EAGLE
Kirby Lee-USA TODAY Sports

Stupid bye weeks.  Because of teams scheduling themselves some time off, we only have two top five teams this week.  Kind a puts a damper on all this hate, since our mission of bringing you the top 5 teams in action has us dipping down to #8 in the country.  On the upside, we have a bonus game to at least cheer for the upset in.  We'll get to that at the bottom of the page.

As always, all times are Central and all lines are courtesy of Bovada.

#1 Florida State (3-0) at NC State (4-0)

When: 2:30pm, on either ABC or ESPN2
Line: Florida State -19
Chances of Losing: Very Low
Possible Chaos Level: Very High

Why is this line only -19?  I don't care that the game is in Raleigh.  Here's NC State's opponents this season: Georgia Southern (24-23), Old Dominion (46-34), South Florida (49-17), and Presbyterian (42-0).  They squeaked past two teams in their first year in the FBS, pounded a USF team still recovering from Skip Holtz, and slaughtered an FCS team.  And I'm expected to believe that they're gonna keep it within three TDs against FSU just because it's at home?

Of course, the preceding paragraph means that all hell will break loose if the Wolfpack pull this off.

#5 Auburn (3-0) vs Louisiana Tech (2-2)

When: 3pm on SEC Network
Line: Auburn -33
Chances of Losing: Very Low
Possible Chaos Level: Very High

Hey, remember when I was just ripping Skip Holtz for the condition that he left the USF program in?  Well, Skippy's the head coach at LaTech, and they just lost to Northwestern State last week.  While the final score was 30-27, it was a horrifying loss, as the Demons outscored the Bulldogs 20-7 in the fourth quarter, including the final 13 points of the game in the final 4:20.

They probably didn't have much of a chance of beating Auburn BEFORE they lost to an FCS team in debilitating fashion.

#6 Texas A&M (4-0) vs Arkansas (3-1)

When: 2:30pm on CBS
Line: Texas A&M -10
Chances of Losing: Medium
Possible Chaos Level: Low

This one's taking place at AT&T Stadium in Arlington, because that's what happens when Arkansas' most famous alumni has a chance to host his team's game in his home state.  It kind of kills any home field advantage for the Aggies, though, as they go from a 100K+ seat building in College Station that would be at least 85% A&M fans to a stadium that's normally at 80,000 seats (but expandable to 105K) and will probably be roughly half Hogs fans.

In any case, the always reliable Bret Bielema is coaching Arkansas, and since they crapped the bed in the second half against Auburn, I'm feeling pretty comfortable about A&M winning this one.  Even if they don't, they're sitting outside the playoff picture right now, so it's not going to cause that much havoc.

#7 Baylor (3-0) at Iowa State (1-2)

When: 7pm on Fox
Line: Baylor -21.5
Chances of Losing: Low
Possible Chaos Level: Very Low

Baylor hasn't been tested yet this season, with easy wins over SMU, Northwestern State, and Buffalo.  This is their first game against a Power Five team, so I'd expect things to get a little close, but not much.  The Cyclones lost to FCS powerhouse North Dakota State and Kansas State before getting their first win of the season against in state rival Iowa last week, so at least they'll be fired up.  A Bears loss here would have no impact on anything, as they're waaaaaay outside the playoff picture and still tucked behind Oklahoma in the Big 12 pecking order.

#8 Notre Dame (3-0) at Syracuse (2-1)

When: 7pm on ABC
Line: Notre Dame -10
Chances of Losing: Medium High
Possible Chaos Level: Very Low

Did you ever expect to find a situation where you'd be cheering for Syracuse football?  Well, here it is.

Losing to Syracuse wouldn't even cause a ripple in the national picture, so that's what we're looking at here.  I hate bye weeks.

Fun Fact: These two teams have combined for 12 national championships!

BONUS GAME!

#19 Wisconsin (2-1) vs South Florida (2-2)

When: 11am on ESPNU
Line: Wisconsin -34
Chances of Losing: Oh, who cares.
Possible Chaos Level: Completely not the point here.

It's our friends from Voodoo Five taking on the Badgers at Camp Randall!  Yes, earlier I mentioned how Willie Taggart is digging himself out from underneath Skip Holtz's rubble, so the Bulls are probably in a lot of trouble here.  But this is Wisconsin's first test since they went 27 minutes and 44 seconds before scoring an offensive point against Western Illinois collapsed in hilarious epic fashion against LSU in their opener, so I have complete faith in Gary Andersen to screw this one up.