Y'all have seen Bambi, right? Remember the lesson that Thumper learns from his mother? "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
In the wake of ESPN breaking the news that Henry Ellenson is hiring an agent and entering the NBA Draft, we're going to enforce The Thumper Rule.
The first 12 people in Henry's mentions are offering congrats and best wishes. Shout out to you guys for having a solid head on your shoulders.
This is the 13th item in his mentions, and we're now just barely over the line into dumb.
Disappointed he's leaving but good luck to Henry Ellenson in the NBA @HenryEllenson13— Andrew (@andrew14c) April 4, 2016
Disappointed? Was there some sort of personal promise made to you that Henry is breaking here?
Then there's this one, which is just flagrantly violating The Thumper Rule.
Thanks for a forgettable season @HenryEllenson13. Best of luck in the NBA though!— Brooks (@EBrooksUncut) April 4, 2016
You're going to want to forget about the season where you watched the best freshman to ever suit up for Marquette? C'mon, man. What are we even doing out here, man.
This was in response to Henry sending a welcoming tweet to new MU verbal commit Markus Howard. This just looks sad and desperate, Egg Man.
Do you even understand the calculus of how much luck and freak chance went into Villanova winning the title? "Stay in school so you MIGHT win a national championship" is insane. That, however, is at least somehow more sensible than this response to that tweet:
Yes, he blew his chance to live out his dream of being a pro basketball player. Massive tragedy here.
At least those people had the weird stones to actually tag Henry in their tweets. How about all the haters who didn't?
Henry Ellenson is gone... Thanks for nothing I guess.— Jordan Shutta (@bigbootyshutta) April 4, 2016
Were you owed something more than what you got?
Henry Ellenson declaring for the draft when he can't even play defense...smh— Carter Abbott (@Carter_abbott24) April 4, 2016
Second most blocks ever by a Marquette freshman, but do you, man.
I don't want Henry Ellenson to be a bust, but I think there's a chance he is. Never saw anything resembling a lottery pick in his one year.— Brooks (@EBrooksUncut) April 4, 2016
Hey, this guy's back. Literally nothing? Not the four 25+ point games? Not the 18 double digit rebounding games, all of which were double-doubles because of his points as well? Not the 10 games with at least three assists at his size and focus in the offense? Not the 11 multiple block games? None of this? You saw none of these games? Not even the 32 & 10 with six blocks against Butler? Missed that one?
I hope Henry Ellenson becomes Vander Blue 2.0— B1G Tango Echo (@B1GTe) April 4, 2016
I don't think that's a compliment. I mean, shout out to Vander for being on the verge of breaking the NBDL scoring record, but you get what I mean.
Hate to see Henry Ellenson's career over before it ever started!— Rick Skaar (@rickskaar) April 4, 2016
Undefeated in the Kohl Center, bruh.
henry ellenson had the same bad situation at marquette that simmons had at LSU so it was good for him to get out— johnrivers (@johnrivers131) April 4, 2016
What an odd thing to say about both teams.
Henry Ellenson declaring for the draft pic.twitter.com/xB7Yk4Iwk7— Rachel Jordan (@racheljordan93) April 4, 2016
Dude, where have you been?
Ellenson to the draft, that's a big hit the #MUBB who was really looking to have a strong year next season.. Can't blame Henry though..— Carter (@c_footit5) April 4, 2016
I mean, it's only a big hit if you, y'know, were telling yourself lies about Henry's draft potential.... which has been in Draft Express' lottery for this year since before he committed to Marquette in the first place....
"So bummed I watched all those records get broken this season."
By the way, Wally Ellenson is still on the team.
I get why hes gone, but I really just wanna tell Henry that its not all about the money. #mubb— Brian (@actuallybbottei) April 4, 2016
You're right, it's not. It's about headhunters offering him his dream job after one year of college. If you were a finance major, and at the end of your freshman year, a big Wall Street investment bank offered you a job as junior vice president, with the inside track to being named Chief Financial Officer in 4 years, you'd take it, right? Same thing here.
To Henry Ellenson, though I wish you all the best, in all seriousness, thanks for nothing. Well a victory over Wisconsin but thats it. #mubb— Dylan Patti (@Nolan517) April 5, 2016
What's the deal with the "thanks for nothing" commentary? Did you watch the games this season? Did you enjoy watching the games this season? Guess what? A whole hell of a lot of your enjoyment of those games was....... drumroll...... because of Henry Ellenson.
But don't worry! He's not done yet!
Anybody who disagrees, I really don't care. Ellenson coming here was essentially pointless. Still missed the tournament. #mubb— Dylan Patti (@Nolan517) April 5, 2016
Did people totally forget the 13-19 season that happened in 2014-15? Serious question. Still one more from this dude, and I bet you know what it is.....
He is not NBA ready! #mubb— Dylan Patti (@Nolan517) April 5, 2016
I really need this answered: When you say something like this, are you aware that ESPN and Draft Express and so on and so forth are assembling mock drafts and draft boards based on what NBA scouts and executives are telling them? And, as a followup, are you aware that these opinions are thus placing Ellenson as a top 10 pick in the draft? Therefore -- and I realize this might be a massive leap in logic for these people -- NBA team employees think Henry Ellenson is NBA ready?
What in God's name makes you think that you're better than these people at their jobs?
These last two aren't mean or dumb or short sighted or anything, but they made me laugh. You'll understand why.
BONUS BAD SPORTS OPINION TWEET
This isn't about Henry's decision, not technically, so it doesn't fit in with the rest of the above dumb comments. This was sent to the AE twitter in response to a discussion of what Wojo might do with the one remaining scholarship for 2016-17.
Where do you even start with that?
Did I miss something really good by only running searches for "@HenryEllenson13," "Henry Ellenson," and #mubb? Seen any dumb takes on Facebook? Drop us a line - firstname.lastname@example.org - or post it in the comments section!