I’m Sure American Has A Lovely Campus: Marquette 92, American 51

I’ve had a lovely evening. I stopped by my parents’ house to have dinner and see one of my sisters back home from break. We had Sloppy Joes with some Fritos to crumble up with the meat. Delicious. Then my mom sent me home with some cookies and popcorn for the white elephant party I’m hosting tomorrow. Thanks, Mom. To top it off I had a relaxing drive home listening to Chance the Rapper’s second straight Christmas album (absolute flames) looking at the gorgeous lights in Kansas City. Oh, Marquette also ended a basketball program. America(n) is dead. Final score, 92-51, and it was not that close.

The game started with the announcer saying that American runs a Princeton style offense, of which I’ve never actually been given an official definition. At this point, I just thinks it’s code for they play at a snail’s pace, but balance it out by not being able to score at all. The Regular Eagles confirmed this suspicion tonight. They made eight shots from inside the arc. In the entire game. Sam Hauser made seven, the number right before eight, from outside the arc.

Those eight two pointers for the Boring Eagles came on 21 attempts, which will help inflate the area of most need for the Golden Eagles.

If you’re a loser with no Christmas cheer and want to complain about something, Markus Howard had 6 turnovers and was 2 of 7 from deep. Honestly who cares, though? Go hug a puppy or something to get some happiness in your life.

You know who’s neat? Sam Hauser is neat. He shot the ball really neatly tonight, and I do mean “neatly” as both “interesting” and “tidy.” He was 8 of 10 from the floor, including 7 of 9 from deep, and made all 6 of his foul shots. I put all of the data into MATLAB right now, but those numbers appear to be good.

Harry Froling gave us a solid second impression with 9 points on a 50% eFG% with 4 assists and 7 rebounds tacked onto that. Theo John was kinda sorta sniffing a double double with 6 boards and 9 points. Nice performance by him.

Your favorite player probably had a good game. Not much else to say. I guess turnovers were an issue, big picture, but Howard had exactly half of the team’s total, and that’s never been a problem for this team (52nd in the country in fewest turnovers) and I don’t expect the performance against a team who stole its name from the country it resides in to trigger a trend of turnovers.

Marquette’s Christmas gift to you was a performance to help clear your mind over the holiday weekend. We’re back on Wednesday with a ball-dropping test against Xavier. This is the calm before the storm. I’m so pumped for Big East play.