Hubert Davis Has A Meeting

INTERIOR: Dean Smith Center

[North Carolina Tar Heels head coach Hubert Davis arrives for his meeting with his assistant coaches the morning after the 2022 NCAA Tournament Selection Show. Starbucks in hand, he swipes into the building and heads to the conference room]

ROY WILLIAMS, looking healthier than ever, dressed immaculately in golfing attire: HUBERT!

HUBERT DAVIS: Morning, Coach.

ROY: HUBERT. You got them Marquettes on Thursday! You gotta go out thar and whip their asses after what they did to us last year on our floor! Show that Wojar who’s boss around here in the Carolinas!

HUBERT: You got it, Coach.

ROY: All right, you gentlemen go put together a good game plan now, I got a tee time, just stopped by to get a colar on the way.

[Roy leaves, Hubert watches him go]

HUBERT, to himself: Man, I don’t need any more pressure here in my first NCAA tournament in my first year as head coach of my alma mater. We didn’t even have a Quadrant 1 win until we won up in Blacksburg in mid-February, and that was right after we lost to that sorry Pitt team. Now Roy’s got me out for revenge for that Marquette loss last year. Man.

[Hubert walks into the conference room and sits down.]

HUBERT: Okay, thanks for doing all this game prep work last night while the players and I were fulfilling our media obligations, guys. I know we got smashed out there on our court last year against Marquette, so tell me what we got.

ASSISTANT COACH BRAD FREDERICK: Nothing, Coach. Well, mostly nothing.

HUBERT: Whaddya mean, nothing? We get beat by by 13 by Coach K’s shining boy wonder in the Dean Dome last February and you’re telling me we’ve got nothing off of that game? Not even anything to fix and do better at?

ASSISTANT COACH JEFF LEBO: They fired Wojo after the season was over, Coach.

HUBERT: WHAT?

ASSISTANT COACH SEAN MAY: Went 13-14, missed the NCAA tournament for the fourth time in six tries, Coach.

HUBERT: A BAD TEAM KICKED OUR ASS LAST YEAR?

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS ERIC HOOTS: That’s right, Coach.

HUBERT: Who’s their coach now?

BRAD: Shaka Smart, Coach.

HUBERT: Oh, he’s good. He was at Texas last year when they beat us in the Maui tournament that we played in Asheville, right?

ERIC: That’s right, Coach.

BRAD: And when we lost to the Longhorns in Vegas in November 2018, Coach.

JEFF: And when we lost to them when we went to Austin in December 2015 too, Coach.

HUBERT: Wait, UNC has never beaten a team with Shaka Smart as the head coach?

ERIC: That’s right, Coach.

HUBERT: Golly. Okay, well, at least the players are the same for Marquette, right? Okay, mostly the same, I know Dawson transferred from there to here, so obviously he’s not going against us on Thursday. How many points do they bring back from dropping 83 on us?

BRAD: 15, Coach.

HUBERT: WHADDYA MEAN, FIFTEEN?

JEFF: Only brought back three guys, Coach. Only one played against us, other two were hurt.

HUBERT: Okay. I heard Marquette has an all-Big East First Team guy when I was doing media, so Mister Fifteen Points is our guy there, huh?

SEAN: No, Coach.

HUBERT: What?

SEAN: That was Greg Elliott who did that to us, Coach. Went 3-for-5 on threes, perfect on four tries from the line. He’s averaging 7.3 per game for them this year, only started once and that was on Senior Night, Coach.

HUBERT: SOME RANDOM GUY COOKED US FOR 15 POINTS LAST YEAR? ON OUR FLOOR?

ERIC: That’s right, Coach.

HUBERT: Dang.

[The room goes quiet for a moment. Director of Recruiting Pat Sullivan coughs quietly, because he has to be at this meeting, but he’s not really in charge of anything for game scouting, and now isn’t the time to be getting Hubert Davis’ attention focused on you.]

HUBERT: Okay, so we’re mostly starting fresh at building a game plan. That’s fine, we’ve got some time and you guys were hard at work since 6pm yesterday anyway. Worst case scenario, we rely on on our defensive rebounding and not letting them get to the free throw line to help us get this win.

BRAD: Not the case, Coach.

HUBERT: Whaddya mean, not the case?

JEFF: Marquette doesn’t appear to care about getting offensive rebounds and they don’t get to the line very much at all, Coach.

HUBERT: ..... Are you telling me —

SEAN: That our two biggest strengths are absolutely useless against Marquette, yes, Coach.

HUBERT: Daggumit.

ERIC: That’s right, Coach.

[h/t to @DaggumRoy and CBS Sports Network for inspiring this idea]