Fear not, friends: your pals at Anonymous Eagle are here to inject some half-baked, homespun "insight" into the proceedings, with our annual region-by-region tour, as we go Anonymously Through the Brackets.
For each region, we'll give you our patented Anonymous Eagle Half-Arsed Analysis with: a gutless pick to win the region; a sleeper regional champ; a CRUSH YOUR MAN upset special; a player we'd pay to watch; and something you're not going to want to see.
Without further ado:
GUTLESS WONDER PICK TO WIN
Gross. This region seems likely to go chalk, so I'm picking 2 seed Wisconsin. The much loathed Badgers get the advantage of playing in the BC for the first two rounds and will no doubt have a large contingent of fans making the relatively short drive from Madison, or, Al forbid, right here in Milwaukee. Then the Buckys' slow pace seems tailor fit to smother later threat Creighton. And I can't pick Arizona over Wisconsin because they needed two overtimes to lose to a team (Arizona State) that nearly gave a home win away to us.
CHEX BOLD PARTY MIX BOLD PICK TO WIN
I doubt most of us thought that Oklahoma State would be a 9 seed before Big 12 conference play got underway. The Cowboys went on a seven game losing streak which closed out with Marcus Smart getting suspended for three games after an altercation with a Texas Tech fan (I've been to Lubbock and I can't blame Smart for getting cranky). Yet picking OSU seems like a no brainer: they've only lost twice since Smart returned to action and both times were in overtime to ranked teams. The Cowboys may have returned to that the early season form and that should scare the rest of the region.
CRUSH YOUR MAN UPSET PICK TO WIN
Ugh. I see so much chalk that I don't even want to pick the 12 over the 5 here. But the Admiral and Warrior Brad deserve a little bit of happiness, so I'll give the nod to their Nebraska Huskers. They had conference wins over ranked Ohio State, Michigan State, and Wisconsin so we know that the Huskers can bring it against tough opponents. And anyone who beats Bucky is a friend of mine, even if that game was hard to watch with both teams wearing red and white.
PLAYER I'D PAY TO WATCH
Helloooooo Marcus Smart. Smart was absolutely sexy schooling Memphis back in November en route to 39 points. The man could not miss and and a performance like that in the tournament would be swoon worthy.
HIDE YOUR EYES WHEN
Baylor is on the court. They'll be the higher seed against Nebraska so hopefully they'll wear white and minimize the bleeding from our eyes. I actually like the SIC EM BEARS logo on the front of the Baylor unis, but those jerseys have been banned by the NCAA due to SIC EM not being part of the school name or mascot. Or, as Our Daily Bears put it:
Because it makes its living doing stupid, unnecessary things that limit fun and enjoyment of sports, the NCAA has ruled that Baylor cannot wear its "Sic 'Em Bears" uniforms for postseason play.
However, the NCAA has not banned the neon color travesties that the Bears have sported in recent years, so expect a healthy dose of those. Might want to have some Excedrin standing by, just in case. Or whiskey. Or both.