By the mere nature of blogs like this, some of the more involved fans of Marquette basketball, both men’s and women’s, gather here because they are excited to see the fruits of their labor start to blossom. Since the days of Terri Mitchell and Buzz Williams we have allowed ourselves to waste hours of our precious free time watching teams that have ranged from “meh” to “oh god what is this?” Now is finally the time where we can watch two truly elite teams represent the school we love. After years of watching other schools experience success at our expense, it’s understandable to feel an extra sense of pride. Go ahead. Enjoy it.
But don’t be that jackwagon who openly badmouths fans that started watching this year.
This can manifest itself in many forms. One form is to start sentences with, “I was there when...” to an audience of people who truly don’t care that you spent American currency to witness Wally Ellenson play basketball. Your TV watching and/or ticket buying habits are not a resume. I promise you that watching the women lose to Northern Kentucky [Editor’s note: Twice!] is merely an indication of your terrible time management skills.
Another way is by just using the term “bandwagon” as an insult, as if someone else’s excitement intrudes on yours somehow. At this point, it’s a catch-all term by people that think there’s a right way to cheer or something. What the hell is a bandwagon, anyway? A band that fits on a wagon isn’t even a very impressive band. Plus bands travel on planes now, you dorks.
The final form should be followed by an immediate trip to your local place of worship to beg as many deities as you can for forgiveness: quizzing. I swear to Odin some people only watch sports just for the exhilaration of stumping an unsuspecting blonde woman on who the current starting lineup is. Just don’t do this. It is just dripping in problematic undertones and it’s quite weird. Plus you run the risk of actually knowing less than the scrawny kid who didn’t know there are 2 types of technical fouls, which is just a devastating self-own.
All fans have to start somewhere. You don’t get any magic points just because Pappy sat you on his lap telling you stories about Al McGuire before getting ready to ruin the housing market for us. Hell, I didn’t pay any attention to the teams until I decided to go to Marquette in 2013. People have lives to live and priorities to prioritize. Let’s just let people cheer whenever they feel like it because being a fan isn’t a competition to see who fanned the hardest or the longest. Teams like the ones currently being led by Carolyn Kieger and Steve Wojciechowski are what help create new lifelong fans and grow the fanbase to be even louder at Wintrust Arena in Chicago, not give vindication for the ones that are already here.
So if you’re a recently minted student or an alumni without much time on their hands to fully invest in sports, don’t think that you shouldn’t cheer as loud just because some business major hasn’t washed his lucky Jimmy Butler jersey since 2016. The fans that have rituals or spend their free time writing for a blog that has absolutely no application to his career (me) [Editor’s Note: Ditto.] are the ones who should feel out of place for allowing themselves to become emotionally invested in the athletic achievements of 18 year olds. I promise that you’re the normal one in this crowd. But if you do feel like you want to contribute to the conversation without knowing anything, I’ll give some talking points. Free of charge.
-Markus Howard is good. Like really good. You can say that in any hyperbolic way that you choose and it will probably underestimate his skills.
-Same thing goes for Allazia Blockton for the women’s squad. Wanna sound really smart? Toss in a “and she’s going to lose out on Player of the Year to her own teammate!”
-Theo John is a large man. Also, he changes his hair style a lot. Just roll with it.
-We call Matt Heldt “The Milkman”. I’ll explain in a month or so. That’s what we call “a tease.”
-Use the word “underrated” when describing Sam Hauser.
-“More like Danielle QUEEN, amirite??”
-”I just can’t believe how much the defense has improved.” Just practice that line. It works across the board just fine.
In all honesty, that’s about the sum of our collective knowledge, so you’re fine with just that. Mostly the teams are fun as hell to watch and I want everyone to experience it as much as they can. March is about to be a very exciting month, and if we’re all lucky, new fan and old, it could be the most exciting March in Marquette history.